Wednesday, 23 November 2016

A Year Have Flown By And I Am Still Me

About a year has passed since my second last entry here. My last entry is updated just an hour ago wtf lol one hour has passed and here I am trying to submit a second one coz I am such a desperate righttt

One year has flown by. Many things have changed. 

1. I began meditating and jogging regularly

For health, concentration and for a peace of mind.

2. I am re-learning how to make friends and stay friends with others

I have always been afraid of my feelings not being reciprocrated, which is reflected in the dynamics of my relationships with others. I am slowly learning how to communicate more sincerely with others. I learn that body languages are often as important, if not more, in keeping an open and affectionate bond with my friends. 

3. I am single! 
I am now out of a happy relationship. As a creature of love, I am surprisingly a lot happier than expected. This was a relationship which we decided to hold on to our relationship as long as we could, despite foreseeing a breakup since much earlier on. Over the years, despite being close colleagues, our journeys of growth have slowly diverged, and by the time we realised, we are already too far apart- in thoughts, in soul and physically. By the time our insecurity overshadowed our affection, we fell into the trap of an endless vicious cycle - trying to hold onto each other with negativity, taunting each other emotionally. A rather peaceful end, we have both moved on swiftly and I am so happy for him. This is an entirely newfound emotion to me- feeling happy for an old love. I can't quite fathom it, yet I understand that this is the result of my growth over the years. It has been an amazing 3-year. He has made me a better person, I am eternally grateful and I owe it all to him. 

Looking back, this is the ultimate result of Relationships vs Travelling to me lololololol wtf. If I am to pick one main reason that contributes to the breakup, it would be travelling. Yet I don't regret this decision to travel and to end the relationship - and never will even if I am granted an opportunity to choose, over and over again. 

4. More travellings!  

During this one-year gap from writing, I have also travelled to 
      1. November 2015: Siem Reap, Phnom Penh, Cambodia fking hot weather fml
      2. December 2015: Hangzhou, Suzhou, Nanjing, Shanghai, China pretty girls everywhere i am a potato
      3. January 2016: Saigon, Vietnam still fking hot shit, almost got hit by motorbikes several times
      4. May 2016: Miri, East Malaysia; Brunei Darussalam peace for champion!
      5. June-Aug 2016: United Kingdom; Lithuania; Latvia; Estonia; Finland almost died falling off a cliff 
      6. September 2016: Philadelphia, United States work

And very soon in December, to Sichuan province, China.

5. I studied abroad again!

I went to study in Brighton and Oxford during the summer, taking up subjects and falling in love with particularly Economics and Philosophy. I will hopefully be able to elaborate on my experiences and also travel tales in the next post lol hopefully la hahahaah fml medical student very busy one ya know every hour cost a thousand bucks

6. I am studying in a whole new different way now

Surprisingly, upon coming back to Malaysia, I have become more interested and committed to my medical studies. I no longer study, but place more emphasis on learning, critical analysis and debating skills, all of which have significantly increased the standard of my academic performances lol now I go for exam I just talk bullshit and get good result LOL kidding wtf

Many things have changed. Many more haven't. 

I still want to be a Doctor.
I still want to be an Economist.
I still want to be a Theatre Performer.
I still want to travel.
I still want to love.
But for now please let me stay single lololol wtf.

I still am me, and I am happy :) Thank you every one for being in my life. 

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