Sunday, 5 October 2014


If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining us as what we are - we can all be freer and this is what heforshe is about. It is about freedom.
Emma Watson on heforshe did a great job on summing up what I have always wanted to say.

I am priviledged to grow up in a family where my parents love me as much as they love my brothers. Having said this, I come from a society where although economically and technologically advanced, girls are culturally assumed as the weaker gender.

When you switch on the TV, the local channels always show the father watching TV on the sofa, the brother playing a kite outside, the mum and sister cooking in the kitchen. 

When there's a divorce, the woman is always on the blame. If the woman cheated, of course she's shit. If the man cheated or marries a second woman, then people would think that the wife isn't doing a great job enough to keep the husband happy. Or maybe because the wife works and doesn't cook well. Or the wife isn't a pro on bed. Or the wife is just old etc etc. 

A good mother is the woman who stays home and cooks well. A good mother is the one who endured and stayed through the marriage even when the husband beats her up. A good mother is never the one who is courageous enough to leave the marriage to prevent the kids from growing up in violence.  

A good, marriable girl is the one who speaks sweetly, has zero opinions in life and stands zero stands in her points of view. A "bossy"/ bitchy girl is the one who speaks her mind and correct other's when they are wrong, who are bold and who take a firm stand on herself. 

Okay la not as bad as you think hahaha but the stereotype is there u see.

I think my thought on feminism all started on this fateful day when I was 15.

I was strolling along Petaling Street when a man about 30 years old came up to me and asked me "berapa u charging satu malam?". He meant how much do I charge for a night WTFFF!

Then I told a friend about this incident and she asked, "is it because you were wearing sexy stuff?" But I swear I still remember what I wore until today: a pair of long jeans and a T shirt.

As I grow up, I hear comments about myself that I'm easily bang-able just because I smile a lot at guys(I smile to everybody!!). I was called "slutty" because I like to wear dresses instead of wearing pants or wrapping myself up. I was called "bossy" and nasty because I wanted things to work smoothly and progressively, not just work in my way. 

As I grow up, I am labeled, "unfit to be a medical student" because my skirt is at knee-length instead of being longer, and I still have yet to find out how this is inappropriate. 

As I grow up, I hear people saying this girl that girl should be raped because she's wearing really sexy stuffs. I see news reporting women are raped because they aren't wearing tudongs. 

As I grow up, I see people regarding breasts as merely sexual objects instead of  essential reproductive and nurturing organs. As if the reason girls are raped because we have breasts. 

As I grow up, my girlfriends asked me to speak not too loudly because I would appear un-feminine.

As I grow up, my guy friends are being mocked at because they are not manly, very CC and girly etc etc and it makes them so depressed.
Feminism is equality. Feminism is empowering women. We want all women to gain equal access to education and opportunities in life. We want all women to have the same opportunities to be hired for a job as long as she is as capable as a man. 

Feminism is I do what I want with my body. Feminism is I decide what I want to wear, not you telling me what to wear. Feminism is even if I am topless, you have no rights to rape me because no crime should be justified just because I'm perceived as "weaker gender" which is less respected. . We want not just all men, but EVERYBODY, to know that although anatomically different, we should be respected as just another individual, instead of being categorised as males or females or other genders. 

If men or even us women don't know how to respect ourselves and our differences, if men keep categorizing us as women the weaker and less respectable gender, how are we able to go out jogging when we can't ensure our own safety from this problem which is not only a crime issue, but also a gender issue?
Feminism is to love a female friend as much as to love a male friend. Feminism is to protect a friend from being hurt when their identity is not acknowledged by others. We want all men and women to be free from gender stereotypes. We want all men and women to be free from the very distorted idea of how we should behave and dress up. Remember those men who are depressed because they are called un-manly.

How should being un-manly/ girly ever be the reason that they are discriminated?

If feminism is achieved, this would not happen. If feminism is achieved, getting called girly is just, getting called girly and nothing else.

But most of all, feminism is NOT man-hating! 
Feminism is merely, the movement and ideals of pushing the society towards a gender equitable culture!

People hold too many different interpretations of feminism. But feminism is in no way, man-bashing. We can still enjoy the very caring act of a man holding the door open for us, just like how we would hold the door open for the person behind us. Anyone should be able to do the same for each other. We still enjoy the very romantic act of our boyfriends giving us flowers on Valentine's day. We still say thankyous to all the well-mannered and nice guys, and girls!

Why should we hate men, when we are all gifts from God? If you're an atheist, why should we hate men, when we are all the same, just another living composed of similar DNA?

Both men and women can feel bold and strong. Both men and women can feel weak and sensitive. Who can say what is right and what is wrong about this?

To those who say feminism are not needed, remember your sisters who are selectively unhired for jobs not because they are incompetent, but because they are females. Remember all the women raped by men who use the excuse of "they don't cover fully and they are sinful so they deserve this" to escape punishment. 

Remember all the girls who are deprived of education just because they are girls. Remember all the girls who have to marry their rapists. Remember all the girls who are forced to marry at 10 years old. Remember all the girls who are neglected by their families just because no men wanted to marry them. Remember all the wives who are stoned to death just because they were raped but accused of adultery.

Remember how they died because nobody speaks out for them. Remember how they died because of your inaction. 


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